7 Quick Takes

Here are 7 quick takes from our week. (I can't figure out how to steal the cute graphic off of Kim D's blog, but this idea comes from her and the Conversion Diary Blog).

1. Housing: It's been a busy week! At the beginning of the week, I was full of gloom and doom a the prospect of tyring to find a rental house that was not Mel's parents house. After a few frustrating days of looking in the paper, checking Craigslist, and seeing one terribly lame house, I decided to sign up with an agency that "brings tenants and landlords together". After parting with $50 bucks, we were given a list of houses. We found a house to rent the very next day! It is colse to A's work, in a quiet neighborhood, on an 1/2 acre (which means yard work for the first time in Adam and I's lives together), has 3 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, a laundry room, and huge concrete basement for storage. It's only $50 more a month than we pay now! I have a great feeling about this house! It's going to be an excellent place for Liam to come into his 2's- and I'm already planning gardening projects we can do together. We move in July 15th, so stay tuned to updates.

2. Poor little Liam is teething in the most ferocious ways. He's 14 months old and only has 2 teeth. 2! Now, his mouth looks like the spine of some underfed dog- all bumps and knobs. Accompanying the teething pain is a persistent fever, random vomiting, and other not-so-nice excretions. Let's hope these teeth make an appearance sometime this week (we are all so tired of him feeling bad!).

3. I just have to share this one because I'm a dork- I bought an iron chiminea at a yard sale across the street today! It was only $20 and I have decided that it is an essential part of our new house-renters lifestyle. I'm already fantasizing about autumn nights, baby tucked into bed, Adam and I sitting on our patio with glasses of wine and a fire in the chiminea....

4. In my third week of being a work-at-home/stay-at-home mom, I think I'm finally getting into the groove of things. Liam and I are having so much fun (other than the vomiting, see above), and I have found that having a routine helps me get more done. While he naps, I write, or blog, or teach my online British Literature class. It's a good deal.

5. I am stumped: how does the women at Conversion Diary.com have enough time to write such a thorough blog with 4 kids? Obviously, she has time management skills that elude me...more on her and her blog later...

6. Adam and I are happy, but would love a vacation. Sigh. Or a night out. But, all this depends on the baby-sleep routine- which is sort of on hold until we move.

7. The Brains and the Muscle of the Operation: So the other night we were having dinner with Ash, Bread, and Loki B. It was great as usual. One of the best parts about being friends with them, however, is the fact that our boys are only 6 days apart. This is excellent because it means a well-stocked changing table, lots of fun toys, and seriously funny moments between the boys. Loki is a quiet, sweet child with a great vocabulary. Liam, on the other hand, is an action guy who is always going. (I think he taught Loki to screech after our trip to the Covered Bridge festival, sorry!). Together, they are trouble- now and for a long time to come we imagine. The pictures tell part of the story....(Can I add that Liam slept incredibly well after pushing Loki around for 20 minutes?)

Have a great weekend!

Addendum to happiness post

Uhm, I am feeling a little self-indulgent about my earlier happiness post. Yes, it sucks that we probably won't get to rent exactly the house I want. Yes, it's a little trying to figure out how to work from home, care for Liam, keep things tidy, and stay fulfilled as a person.

But, really. Jamie. Shame on you.

Did you all hear yet about those 2 American female journalists who have just been sentenced to 12 years hard labor in a North Korean camp? Or that one of them has a 4-year old daughter? I think about them in a cold, dank cell somewhere...I imagine their terror as they wonder, "Will I ever see my family again..." Speaking of bad weeks, imagine what kind of week they have had....or what about the weeks of the women these two were filming? Those who are illegally trafficked across the Chinese border for sex work?

So, yes, I find such counterpoints sobering. And I do appreciate all the many, many good people and things in my life. And I hope these two journalists get home safely. And I wish that life didn't have to be so damn miserable for so many people.

Sigh.

Poolside...

We have a pool that comes with our apartment complex, and we are big fans of the pool. Liam and I go as much as possible, and usually Liam's aunts, uncles, and great-grandma (in a cozy wool sweater as befits a June day) can be conviced to come along.

Uncertainity...happiness...a ramble...

Being a choxer (boxer-chow) is nice and stress-free...now if only Sam's owners could take a page out his book...

What's that old prayer? God grant me the strength to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference? I think that's close enough.

Well-- long sigh-- that about sums my weekend.

Here are somethings I know about myself:

1) Despite my best efforts at patience, I hate waiting.

2) Although I like adventure and impulse in life, I like certain things to be secure-like jobs or where I'll be living next month. (So, I'd like to be able to jet off to Thailand on a whim, but then have security to come home too I guess is what I'm saying. Hmmm, who wouldn't want that?).

3) Also, I often set my heart on something, throw myself in entirely, and then am crushed to smithereens when it doesn't work out. (This is a pattern in relationships, living situations, jobs, and houses I want to live in...etc.).

The issue at hand: we're just tyring to rent a house. It's nothing major, but argghhh! the stress.

I'm trying to take a page out of Kim D' book (who is also facing lots of job and house uncertainty) and wait and see what happens. Our dream rental house (Melanie's parent's house- which has ample space and a koi-filled pond(!!)) is up for sale, not rental (except with untenable stipulations). Although I REALLY want to live there, stipulations be damned, I've slowly realized that it's not meant to be. Or it will work out if it's supposed to. Or maybe it will work...or something like that.

Like I said, arggghhhh. (LOL-I sound like a pirate who is fraught with anxiety)

I am trying to learn to live with uncertainty. Like my father, I get all worked up from small things, project/emanate/radiate stress, and, in turn, destroy the harmony of my home. That is not how I want to live, so I am working on this.

Generally, my life is filled with happiness. This recent anxiety comes partially from uncertainty and also from a deep need I have for more. More everything: clothes, succesful books (well, any)children, vacations, jobs, time,etc.

This leads me to the question of: when is it enough (of any of the above items)? Is it considered failure in our society to just step back and say: "Wow, I'm really happy with the way things are. I'm not going to change a thing." Is it all too human to seek constant change, and this is why we go for bigger, better, more?

I don't know and I probably need more coffee before tackling such things. It is so my life that a small thing like house-rental-anxiety snowballs into this deep metaphysical pondering of happiness.

Speaking of that, I just started reading this travel book called "The Geography of Bliss". I haven't gotten very far- the author is just at the Dutch Center for the Study of Happiness- but I did find this quote that spoke to me (at least in the mood I'm in):

"(In the past) happiness, in this life, on this earth, was a prize reserved for the gods and the fortunate few. Today, though, not only is happiness considered possible for anyone to attain, it is expected. Thus I (the author), and millions of others, suffer from the uniquely modern malady that historian Darrin McMahon calls 'the unhappiness of not being happy.'"

Hmmm...so I don't quite feel that, not now, not in my life with Adam and Liam. But, I know this malady, it has been mine at other moments.

Anyway, here are somethings that make me happy and clears all the dark clouds of anxiety and uncertainity in one fell swoop:

One more thought for today...

As I continue my quest to find beauty daily, I am often surprised by how much there is all around me. Sometimes it is loud, or bright, or obvious. Other times, it is quiet. Like the stillness in the sleepy graveyard behind my apartment:

Or in the the way my shadow reminds me that I am a little bit like every other woman who has ever carried her baby on her back.

Or in the lushness of a tree full of blossoms.

Or even just in the symmetry of a tree itself. This four-trunked tree reminds me of a ladies fan, especially when it is tangled up in the sunset.

And so, I see aching loveliness all around me. And it's funny that a quick walk around my apartment complex brings me face to face with the transient (blossoms on a tree) and the eternal (sleep of a graveyard). It makes me realize how very short life is, and it reinforces my desire to live fully in the present. To be good to my friends, to love my family, to find beauty in everything...

(And to now stop ignoring Liam for the sake of blog posts! lol)

Today is brought to us by the letter "F"

Action babies!

Festival, food, fun, funnel cake, french fries, fresh-squeezed lemonade, frolicking in rocky streams, fabulous friends...as Ashleigh rightly observed, yesterday was brought to us by the letter F!

(Ash asked the million dollar question that stumped everyone at the festival information booth: "Why cover a bridge?")

Yesterday, in a departure from our usual work-at-home mornings, Ash and I decided to pack up the boys and venture into the heart of Carter County for the first day of the Covered Bridge Festival. Nary a booth was set up, but, there were still enough tasty festival food offerings to make us crow with excitement. As a vegetarian, however, I must admit that festival food is really not the same showboat of extravagance that it once was. No redneck burgers ("With real fried bologna!"), chicken-on-a-stick, hot dogs, or BBQ pork for me. Instead I was left with the fried food group: fried oreos, twinkies, sweet potatoes, veggies, crazy fries, and-- wait for it-- DEEP FRIED MOON PIES!

I am an adventurous girl, but not bold enough for fried moonpies. All told, it was a wonderful day, and it reminded me yet again how nice it is to live in the same town as friends! NowI just wish all my faraway friends would move closer....

Remember that old Tennessee tourism commercial: "Come to Tennessee, we're playing your song..."

Well, now we can promise not just your song, but also some deep fried magic in our neck of the woods!

Liam and Loki and some down home good times:

This last photo is of a woman we met while eating lunch by the stream. She's been rasing the baby duck (the one she has her hand on). In this picture, she's trying to introduce her baby duck to the mallard. Duck play dates!

Men of the House

Adam just started a new job as an editor, and he's lucky enough to work on the VA grounds. When I was a child, this was one of my favorite places in the whole town. Now, Liam and I get to have picnics there with Adam every week. (Sometimes every day!)

We love lunch time picnics with Adam! Liam's favorite thing to do is to try to smear Adam's work clothes with yogurt or other tasty snacks. Adam spends most of the picnic artfully dodging. It is the classic, age-old dance...

But we're not all smiles here (although there are a lot).

Moments of Misery two days ago: Liam cried, and cried, and cried the night we tried to leave him in his crib to fall asleep. Every time I went to hug him and reassure him that we were still there, and he was ok, he clung to my neck like a frightened baby monkey and sobbed pitifully.

It was heart wrenching.

As I read online later, I realized that he is simply too old for a quick fix method. All Adam and I want are the occasional nights of 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep or our bed back every now and then.

This is too much to ask at this point, however, and so we work around Liam's schedule. Is our baby controlling our lives? Mostly. But, we're people of the book, and we believe in the Power of a Plan. It is my job over the next few days to Make a Plan. And Write it Down. Then, we Stick to It.

I am skeptical, but I have decided that the book to have is: The No Cry Sleep Method. Know anything about this book? Let me know....

An interesting side effect of this one evening of misery is some major new Liam-Adam bonding. When we finally decided Liam had cried enough, I sent Adam to go pick him up. Adam was totally his hero that night. Liam snuggled into his chest and Adam rocked him to sleep. That night, I brushed my teeth leisurely for the first time in 14 months (usually, I have to hurry because Liam is screeching). It was nice. When I finally snuggled into bed with the boys, Liam stirred and woke up, but wanted very little to do with mean-old-me-the-mommy-who-made-him-stay-in-his-bed. In fact, he was so enamoured of his dad that night that he kept removing my glasses from my face and offering them to Adam as a little present. It was very charming (and a little strange for me, who has had this baby's constant admiration from the day he was born. It made me realize, wow, some day, I will just be "geez mom"...so I'll enjoy the baby-snuggles now).

Liam is much more into Adam right now than he has ever been. This raises the happiness-level in our home. It also makes me think about father's day.

In the last year, I've watched my husband grow from a baffled, exhausted man-with-a-kid, into a patient dad who is utterly in love with his son. I always knew Adam would make a good father- he is kind, caring, gentle, and has a great sense of humor; but, before we had Liam, neither he nor I really had ever had our endurance tested. We were utterly used to doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. It was the luxurious life of the adultescent- sleeping in daily, going out for pitchers of beer whenever we wanted, travel whenever we wanted, so many other things that we didn't appreciate....

This last year has changed us, but in a good way. I have a postcard hanging above our changing table, sort of a kitchy thing, that has 3 babies on it and this quote from the Tao Te Ching: "I have but three things to teach you: patience, simplicity, and compassion. These three are your greatest treasures."

Patience, Simplicity, and Compassion. That is what Liam has taught us this year. And he is our greatest treasure.

Now, for some recent Moments of Beauty between Liam and Adam:

Driving range was fun for all...

And that's how the oh-so-cool men in my life are doing...more soon!